After Rain Comes the Sun


A rainy cloud is passing
Hold on the sun will shine again

There is no way out but to stay here
There is no way out but in

There is no shortcut no guidelines no rules or restrictions

An empty slate for you to fill with colours
The shade of grey is a temporary hiccup
I want to paint with all the colours of the rainbow

Trembling inside


My mind is spinning

Loosing grip of held positions of the past

Like a tornado blasting through my environment and leaving nothing behind

There is a silence and an emptiness

An uncertainty and a fearful mind

Please don’t leave

I am sorry

I didn’t mean to

Showers of shame and regret are washing over me

Like waves they come and go

I am anchored to something deeper within

I have been here before

Something new is on its way and I have outgrown the old

In surrender I wait

A new reality


To experience once reality evaporate

Left in a space where words have no meaning

An emptiness that is so full yet there is nothing to grab onto

A peculiar feeling of complete freedom and openness yet there is nothing that can be done, nowhere to move

If all is here in this very moment then how can you move somewhere else?



A blank space

Blown open

Trembling as there is no way back

No way to move forward

Just to be present and allow

Allow the process to work in me

Allow my body to rest

Allow my mind to grasp for information and lovingly seeing it is okay to not know

I am here

I am dissolving

Seeing I am just a space

Love is all there is and I cannot disconnect and hide anymore

I am open to seeing more

I am open to this journey

Coming home


A child in a new world

Full of wonder and curiosity

A deep breath, exhale and I feel my heart

A little shaky as I take my first steps out in this beautiful world

I have stepped into my vulnerability yet I feel so strong

I can hold them both

I can dance between them and rest in the arms of my own love

I am transforming, shedding layers, becoming naked and real

A sense of fear yet I feel so peaceful

I know I am on the right path

I am on my way home

In deep gratitude


What if you could be loved exactly like you are?

What if life was just waiting to give you more than you could ever imagine?

What if I told you I know it is true because it is happening to me….

To be allowed to be exactly like I am has set me free.

To realize that I am the only one who can give me permission to do so.

To see that I am held by the divine and its unconditional love, within and around me.

Having the freedom to do whatsoever I feel. To eat what I like, feel what I feel, express what I feel.

My body is becoming soft as my worries and complaints dissolve.

I am left with a deep sense of gratitude.

For myself. For the universe. For life.

A sense of completion as we are all one.

One creative energy, one living organism dancing together in perfect harmony.

Ready to be me


I am ready
Here I am
Hold my hand and show me the way
Taking off my armour standing naked and exposed

I am shedding layers
Letting the fear wash away

Seeing it is my choice to choose joy and bliss, trust and love.
Ideas of who I should be falling apart

Cracking open and allowing the divinity of live to flow through
Saying thank you for the lessons I have learned
And asking for more love and light

I am ready to be me I am ready to be free

Burning all the bridges
Excitement, love, bliss and fear

Silent as I know there is nothing to be done
I am here

Good night my dear
You have nothing to fear

this is me … ❤

To Face our Fears


When something hurts we have a choice. To hide, suppress and avoid or we can choose to evolve. To sit down and feel it. What is it and why am I so scared of feeling it?

I am starting to see that nothing is as scary as hiding from ourselves. When we hide from ourselves our home becomes a scary place, hostile and unsafe. Our body becomes our enemy and a split occurs. We need to step away from our body in order to stay safe. Our body mirrors us, it shows us what we feel and brings us back to our truth.

So when we split from our body we are free in a sense. Free from seeing what is actually there. But we are also cut off from our source. Cut off from the love, light and play that we are. We enter the world of the mind and life becomes flat. We need distractions and to constantly be stimulated in order to feel okay and stay blind to the fact that we are missing the essential qualities of life. It is scary.

The only way out is to choose to wake up, choose to open our eyes and see what is there. Sitting and feeling an uncomfortable feeling arising within, the choice to face it does not seem as scary anymore. Little by little we can face our fears. Each time seeing that we come out on the other side. Each time we have created more space for us to be. More space to breathe and love and dance.

These fears keep us boxed in, they keep us from seeing that we are capable of doing whatever we want. All is possible. These fears keep us small, they keep us obedient and chained in to the rules of society.

I am facing my fears everyday, each time choosing to stay, breathe and feel. I am starting to break out of the chains that have been holding me down. I am seeing that I have wings and I am learning how to fly. I am seeing that the world is available to me and that anything is possible. No one can stop me or hold me back besides myself.

Love, Leela